SHUNXALICE FIC

URHG, PARDON THE OVERUSE OF FRENCH.

ALRIIIIIIGHT.
THIS IS BECAUSE.
I HATE.
SHUNXFABIA. AND LYNCXALICE.
NO OFFENSE. JUST MY OPINION.
SHUNXALICE FOREVER.
I know I sounded extremely lame, but this is the kind of person I am. It is IMPOSSIBLE to make me change my mind on pairings. And I can NEVER pair one part of the couple with someone outside it. It's just ShunxAlice. No alternatives. I'm like this with all pairings.
GUESS I'M A FAITHFUL TYPE? /shot. Or just narrowminded? OTL
ENJOY. ANYWAYS.
DISCLAIMER: BLABLABLA I DON'T OWN WISH I DID.

Two Sided
love is an action

By: RAINdigo


Je t'aime
Tu m'aimes
Nous nous aimons

Rainy days always make Alice jittery. Nervous. Feeling like something was misplaced, something is not where it should be. Thunderstorms see her cowering under her covers, and years ago, under the bed. Yes, cower. She is a coward. She can't face her fears--because she is too afraid.

On nights like those, she needs a lullaby to rock her to sleep. Like a protective coccoon, sheltering her from the outer world's atrocities. But years ago, on a night like that, her parents died.

No one to sing to her anymore.

So she sings herself to sleep.

Rainy days always make Alice's palms sweat, the hairs on her neck rise, her feet stumble down the stairs. She spends days such as these in the kitchen, distracting herself with cooking and household chores. Loses herself in another realm. One where she is busy, where she doesn't have the time to settle on...trivial things. Like thunderstorms.

Rainy days make her heart beat a little faster. Make her sit on the edge of her seat.

As if she is waiting for the thunder.

~

Monday was a cloudy day.

Tuesday it rained.

Today, it's Wednesday. The sky hasn't cleared yet.

She is on her way to school; walking a bit stiffly, taking small steps, trying to avoid the cracks in the sidewalk as if to chase away bad luck. But right now, she is not worrying about rain and thunderstorms. Right now, she is worrying about what should I do when I see him? lookhimintheeyes or smile or waveandsayhi?.

It's kind of striking. How thunderstorms and Shun have the same effect on her.

She doesn't know what to make of this resemblance. Just pulls her feet off the asphalt and continues walking, pensive, eyes secretly searching for him. Hands secretly yearning to touch him. Lips secretly drying as she imagines them against his--

And there he is.

Not half a block away.

Just rounded a corner.

Sharp ochre eyes and onyx hair and breathtaking breathtaking breathtaking.

And there she goes, runs up to him, pulls his hand and latches herself onto his arm, and Alice knows it's wrong and knows jealousy leads to nowhere, but she can still feel the venom boiling up deep inside her stomach, pushing up, and she feels like she's about to eject her breakfast right here and now, on the sidewalk, not half a block away from the boy she loves--loveslovesloves.

She rips her eyes away, lowers her head, and stalks past them, ignoring her cheerful voice and his platonic, aloof responses.

Not three feet away from this scene she hatesomuchdetestsanddespises, a familiar face appears, a familiar arm swings itself around her shoulders, and a familiar voice bids her good morning.

"Good morning," she says, voice dead.

She shoots a glance from over Lync's arm, and catches a glimpse of Shun before he disappears, Fabia still stuck like glue onto his side.

Maybe they could trade partners.

Je t'aime

~

Second period finishes with the sound of a bell, tearing her out of her make-believing, drowsy eyes fixed on her hands as she gathers up her books and leaves the classroom.

Runo is waiting for her outside, sunshine smile and bright green eyes.

"How ya doin'?" she asks, carefree, freefreefree, free of doubt and anxiety.

"Great," Alice replies, and a genuine smile forces itself on her face.

"You should start smiling again, it makes you look unbearable hot," a male voice shoots from their left, and Alice frowns while Runo smirks as Dan comes into view, Science textbook swung onto his shoulder.

Runo drags Dan away to kiss him against a locker, and Alice slinks into the crowd and makes herself disappear.

She doesn't want to be a third wheel.

Maybe that's all she'll ever be.

Aime-moi. Parce que je t'aime.

She enters the numbers to her lock, numbers committed to memory long ago, numbers that automatically lead her fingers to swirl in the right direction. But she knows something she remembers even better than her locker combination.

the dips and curves of his face. she's mapped his expressions down into the very core of her brain. the way his eyes light up when he smiles. the little quirk of a lip when he finds something amusing. the way his hand brushes his hair when he feels awkward. the way none of these happen when he looks at her.



Alice moves quick to her next class, hoping to arrive there before all the other students swarm in. It is her only class with him.



As she enters, her heart sinks. So low she swears it might have hit her stomach and provoked this sick feeling in her gut. Her breakfast is making its way up again. Somehow, somewhat, she forgot.



She forgot this is the only class she has with Fabia as well.



She takes her seat, gait deprived of its previous joy, and sinks herself into a world now past and disappeared. Into the biographies of the great men that traced this earth and made it what it is today.



She can't help but overhear their chatter--



"You doing something after school?"



"Yeah. I'm going to Dan's."



"Again?" a little bit whiny, an effort to try and appear cute.



"The project is due next week." same as always.



"Exactly. Take a day off, come and visit me at my workplace." from whiny to slightly firmer, demanding.



"Sorry, maybe some other time." same as always. just like she loves it.



"Aww." back to whiny. it's not cute.



--and then feel extremely stalkerish for eavesdropping.



The bell rings, and they break apart, the same moment as Alice sighs in relief and Lync bursts into the room, on the nick of time.



"Hey," he says, brushing over her shoulder as he passes to take his seat, and she pretends not to notice.



If Alice could hate one thing (fabiafabiafabianononono), it would be giving false hope.



She seems to be doing that a lot with herself lately.



~



It's not like they never talked.



In fact, once, they had a deep and lengthy conversation when he came over to have his hair cut.



She remembers running her fingers through that long mane of silk, silently wondering how sad that it was all going to waste with one flash of silver scissors, remembers their voices clear as a blue sky on a summer morning as they discussed his mother.



His deceased mother.



They understood each other. They both lost their mothers.



The one that would sing her lullabies on stormy nights, carress her hair and tell her she was the most beautiful child on Earth.



Now the only lullaby she hears is rain on a rooftop. And her dreams of Shun. Whispering into her ear. Three simple words.



Je t'aime.



Je--



But he doesn't love her.



It's not like they were never friends.



In fact, they are.



They hang out with the same people, so consequently they are sometimes thrown together. Little visits at a nearby cafe, afterschool. Eating lunch together.



You'd think this would give a girl hope. But it doesn't. It only furthers her beliefs that she is wishing the absolute impossible.



Because the more time they spend together, the more time she spends watching Fabia and him together. The more the more the more. Too much.



But if she is not with them then she is with Lync--Lync, who brushes her hand too often for comfort with his own; Lync, who winks at her at the most inopportune moments (likewhenheislooking); Lync, who she doesn't like enough to love; Lync, whose heart she cannot afford to break; Lync, who can't see her heart breaking a piece each day but still wants every little fragment.



So confused. So trapped.



She feels like she is in the middle of a thunderstorm.



~



Surprisingly, the doorbell rings one morning and when she goes to answer she finds him, holding a blue umbrella with one hand and the other in the back pocket of his jeans, and he says "Yo" and she says "Come in" and they are now both sitting at the kitchen table. He stares, placid, wordless, disinterested at a painting on the wall behind her. She stares, mentally biting her nails, at her hands laying in her lap. Seconds tick by. No one speaks.



What are you doing here?



In my house. On a Saturday morning.



(How do you know where I live?)



(Why didn't you go to Fabia's home instead?)



M'aimes-tu? Je t'aime, oui, parce que moi je t'aime. Et je t'attends. Depuis toujours. Depuis des lustres et pleins de lunes ont disparues sous mon regard insistant. Pleins de nuits blanches, pendants lesquelles je n'ai fait que regarder le ciel, pendant lesquelles j'y ai cru, en mon amour...



(Do you love me? I love you, yes, because me I love you. And I'm waiting for you. Since forever. Since ages and many moons have disappeared under my insisting eyes. Many sleepless nights, during which I did nothing but look at the sky, during which I believed in it, in my love...)



"You know. Maybe you... could you do a favor for me?" he asks, shattering her thoughts.



What an awkward way to start the day, she thinks.



"And what's this favor?"



"Well. You know how Fabia hangs around me."



Alice nods--not really. Half nods. Because the name "Fabia" coming out of his mouth makes her senses numb. Like lightning paralyzing her tongue.



"Like how Lync hangs around you."



And her first thought is not Does he think we're going out? Is this a misunderstanding? but He noticed, he noticed, he noticed, he noticed.



"I thought it would be easier if you were the one to tell her... To tell Fabia, I mean. That I'm not interesting her... that way. And maybe also tell her I like... someone else."



Of course, Alice thinks. Of course. She should have seen this one coming. It has been hanging right under her nose since the beginning. Fabia isn't the only girl in his life. Who is this other girl? Julie? Chan? Mira? Or maybe one of those nameless faces in the many classes they spend apart. In that giant chunk of his life she isn't part of.



Alice opens her mouth to speak. Yeah, it should be easier if it's a girl who breaks the news to her.



"Yeah, maybe you could tell Lync I don't like him either."



That didn't come out quite right.



No, it came out disastrously off-course.



She feels like crawling under her bed and pulling all the sheets around her. Grab the flashlight and make little shadows on the floor. Hold her breath until a thunderstorm comes and takes it away. Adds it to its whirling whispers that collide against her window pane.



Strikes her like lightning. Breaks her eardrums like thunder.



That is what happens next.



"I was afraid you did," Shun says, and it takes her a bit of time to recall what their conversation is about.



She blinks, three times, incredule. "Really. Well. Uh. Why?"



He blinks, once, shifts his eyes, brushes a hand through his hair. awkward. lovely awkward. "Well. Because if you did..."



If I did? If I did?



Si je l'aimais? Et si? Et si?



"...I guess."



You guess? Guess what?



He had her on the edge of her seat, heartbeat crazy as the rotor of a helicopter, palms sweaty, waiting for the thunder. Waiting for the thunder.





"I guess it wouldn't be right for me to love you."



It takes her time, long long seconds, to register this.



The thunder.



The thunder.



A thunder she hates---



mais tu m'aimes et je t'aime et tu m'aimes et



--or maybe she loves--



nous nous aimons



--no, she is not afraid of thunderstorms anymore.



~



The next day at school, Shun's lips sing her to sleep as they kiss in front of the school. In front of Fabia, Lync, Runo, Dan, juliechanmira.



Her love is two sided.



Their love is two sided.



nous nous aimons



And she is no longer a coward.



Not anymore.



fin